I am JPR, and we are FSHS Group: a non-profit, non-revenue collective that provides advocacy and support to whistleblowers and other vulnerable parties navigating institutional misconduct.

Who even is JPR?

Pending our arrival at a single, self-stable answer to this question, JPR offers the following non-exhaustive list of things that are definitely not true of him:

  • God

  • done

  • fazed

  • a lawyer

  • risk-averse

  • lacking direction

  • ashamed of the gospel

  • afraid (clowns nor lizards)

  • posturing for social approval

  • trying to get on your good side

  • someone all men “speak well of”

  • likely to spare your feelings

  • scared of his own shadows

  • afraid of confrontation

  • eager to de-escalate

  • a judicial LARPer

  • able to draw

  • winging it

  • belated

  • blind

  • off

  • AI

  • sad

  • tired

  • fainted

  • exhausted

  • a cartoonist

  • waiting around

  • lacking questions

  • comic relief (theirs)

  • tailoring to your taste

  • waiting for your approval

  • intimidated (like, at all)

  • weighing optics over truth

  • writing for easy applause

  • a hearer but not a doer

  • willing to let it go

  • unhinged (…really)

  • saved by works

  • self-reliant

  • secondrate

  • unnerved

  • a liar

  • wimpy

  • tame

  • God

  • done

  • fazed

  • a lawyer

  • risk-averse

  • lacking direction

  • ashamed of the gospel

  • afraid (clowns nor lizards)

  • posturing for social approval

  • trying to get on your good side

  • someone all men “speak well of”

Exhibits in Cartoon

Series 1

Figure 1: A cheerful OUC moments after unanimously agreeing that the CCC matter is “fully under control” and requires only minimal additional meetings.
05/12/2025

Figure 2: “Kindly sss-tep aside, counsel. The sssss-upervisorss will handle thisss,” they say—cold-blooded, eyes-dimmed, and armed with exactly zero understanding of the law; O boy! but they do put on quite a show!
07/12/2025

Video

Figure 3: Confidential debrief; counsel reviews the department’s recent handling of a graduate file and proffers “guidance” on avoiding similar issues in future.
08/12/2025

Figure 4: Fresh off the news that their latest self-impalement “maneuver” was a resounding success, the CCC reconvenes to personally chauffeur the institution over the edge,CCC: “C’mon pile in! We’re driving this thing off a cliff!”Eddie: “But isn’t DFRR… the other way?”CCC: “Relax, Eddie. We are the department.”
08/12/2025

Figure 5:  A Jingle For Jenny, OUC, CCC
Young Jen now knows this one is not so small
And so she pulls a book from off the “Wall”,
To learn about “the ethics” line by line
And sings, “it’s all okay, it’s all just fine.”
09/12/2025

Figure 6: The renowned Eddie Cretin, seen here perfecting his seal noises for another routine "Bark-Deny-Defy" maneuver. Illiterate? certainly--this is a feature, not a bug. Lo! When the SEAL siren sounds for student sabotage, Eddie will be there—late, loud and low of brow.
ca. 2018-2025

Figure 7: On the eve of the bicentennial departmental audit, Coonrad Stööber dutifully records his “results”—by golly, say what ye will about honesty, this man is nothing if not efficient.
ca. 2018-2021

Figure 8: Meet “Doctor” Boris Walrus! What he lacks in cleverness, he makes up for in.... err—can you really blame him, though? Bless his heart, he’s trying his best.
ca. 2018-2021

Figure 9: With the clowntourage baying for blood, JPR bends space-time in his eager search for even a small toy truck to give.
10/12/2025

Figure 10: After being publicly insulted, and with their feelings squarely in the “hurt” column, Coonrad, Boris, and Eddie send their pal Mitch to appeal to JPR’s better judgment.
10/12/2025

Series 2

Figure 11. Deep within the war room at Unambiguous Brotherhood of Clowns, Inc. (hereafter, “UBC, Inc.”), the Lizards escalate to DEFCON FIG-06
ca. 2021-2025

Figure 12: After Mitch’s little field trip ends in an empty-handed shuffle back to the Pinhead Posse, JPR duly records the “effort” and returns to business as usual.
11/12/2025

Figure 13: Behind the scenes at OUC, Jenny searches frantically for any clue as to how she and her LARPer pals can squeeze out a “win” over the “hapless” JPR.
ca. 09/12/2025 - now

Figure 14: JPR and the Right Honorable Ellen O’Craig duking it out in a battle of the twits. A wealth of evidence to the contrary notwithstanding, Ellen will insist that the answer is “No”.

Video

Figure 15:   Public Service Announcement:
In the Spirit of good faith—and in recognition of the ongoing stonewall-ment “negotiations”—FSHS Group is pre-releasing its Terms & Conditions to help usher in the next phase of “talks” in the JPR v. UBC, Inc. saga.
12/12/2025

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